Let me list a few.
- Pain
- PAIN!!! (some days I just want to cut my leg off, some days I want to hang myself, hence small pain, BIG PAIN)
- Old Re-runs of shows I never knew could be so damned entertaining.
- Reading (ok, this one is more research, so I'll let you slide with a warning)
- Divorce
- Work
- Supreme loneliness
- Depression
- BIG MOTHEREFFIN PAIN
- Frustration with low sales combined with freakishly positive reviews that nobody will actually put in writing, no matter how much I stress that it will help my sales.
Pain - I think you can probably tell that pain is my number one distraction. It's hard to concentrate and focus when the pain in your body is so overwhelming it's like beings trapped to the pole of an air raid siren that is going off 24/7 and getting louder every day. I was hoping for the necessary hip replacement that was needed 4 years ago by the hot shot young gun doctor who talked me into an expensive bullshit surgery only he performs, and when it failed and made me worse, he basically hid in his office until my insurance ran out. Coward. I might be seeing you in a courtroom some day buddy. Better than a back alley, trust me. You think malpractice lawyers are vicious!
TV - I'm running out of TV shows to watch re-runs of, and without cable pretty soon I wont have a choice but to write. So that's good. I have discovered some great shows though! Weeds, Californication (Hank Moody you're the man!), etc have made me want to bring a water cooler into work just so we could have a central place to discuss the shit I've just watched.
Work - It's flat out killing me. The hip situation is made alot worse by the job I'm in, and I need to figure out if Im just going to plow straight ahead until I drop in the field and they ship me off to the glue factory, or jump the fence and find a job that doesn't actively take 2 years from my life per shift.
Divorce - I just want it over. I want my ex to find some good guy to finally make her happy where I couldn't, because a happy mom equals happy kids, and that's what its all about. It will be a weight off of my shoulders as well. Three more months, that's one more distraction down.
Supreme Loneliness - I hate this little apartment, with its shitty neighbors and cheap motel ambiance. On a daily basis I say hello to some gang-banger who doesn't reply back and I'm tempted to just curb stomp him for failing to recognize someone with more willingness to just do some damned evil shit to his sorry ass. Someone says hi, say hi back ya shitbrick.
Depression - The meds nearly killed me, so I'm stuck with it. I'm still here, and I'm doing the best I can. Maybe if I found someone who didn't tell me for more than a decade what a waste of space I was, I might be a little happier.
Low Book Sales - Just got a great blurb from the incredibly talented and popular Ellen Hopkins, who I just love to death. Hopefully that will give my career a shot in its ass, and give me one as well. I need a swift kick to the keester for even writing this when I'm supposed to be finishing a story.
So I'm working on my distractions... working them out of the equation, and then it will just be me, tons of free time, and a keyboard that cries to me at night that its being under utilized. (I usually tell it to shut up, because it might mean I'm insane.) Once they're all gone, we will see if I'm a writer or just some guy with a big imagination, but a burned out shell not able to put it to use. I really want to discover I'm a writer.
